Injury Recovery

Injuries suck. And every runner, sooner or later, will have one. It may be big and take you out for months. It may be small and only briefly interrupt your running. But no matter what, you are sure to go through the "Five Stages of Injury", as coined by Beth over at Shut and Run ~ I give her full credit for laying it out so nicely.

"1. Denial – Are you f*cking kidding me? My marathon is in {insert number} weeks and I’ve trained my ass off. There is no way I’m not running this thing, even if I have to crawl. It’s just a pain in my hip. I’m sure I just pulled a muscle dancing on the pole. Or maybe this pain is a figment of my imagination, part of tapering madness. I’m sure I’m fine.
2. Anger – Are you f*cking kidding me? This still hurts, might be worse. Why me? I didn't do anything wrong. Everyone else can run and not get injured. Hell, Dean freaking Karnazes is running across the United States and he never gets injured. This sucks. I don’t deserve this. I pay my taxes, I follow a training plan. I bought the stinking $100 shoes that they told me to buy at that damn store.
3. Bargaining – You are not f*cking kidding me. I’m hurt. I get it. But, I swear if I am healed enough by marathon day to at least complete the race I will never {insert vice: cuss, drink, over train,  do meth, run with scissors, yell at my kids, lick a knife} again. Once I complete this race, I will rest for a really long time and go to the doctor. I swear. Just let me run this race.
4. Depression – (warning: here’s where it gets really ugly). I’m f*cked. I’m out of the race. Hell, I might never run again. I hate swimming and biking and most of all running in the water. I want to run. I only like running and I am nothing without running. I will get fat. I will get lazy. I will lose all of my fitness. Why bother getting out of bed?
5. Acceptance – I can’t race. I can’t even run right now. But, it’s going to be okay. I am still an athlete, I am still a runner, I am just recovering. I will be back. Stronger than ever. Even though I can’t run, there are other things I can do to maintain my fitness. Even though I can’t run, I am still worthy. There is more to me than being a runner."

 As someone who has been out of commission since August, I can tell you this is pretty spot on. I think part of the reason this injury has been so stubborn is partly due to the fact that I was stuck in the Denial stage for so long. It was a rapid descent into Anger, Bargaining and Depression from about September on. Once I fully realized that I was going to be out for a while, I wavered between Depression and Acceptance for quite a while.

In fact, it's only been in the past month that I finally feel like I am solidly in the final stage of Acceptance. Mentally, I've kept my head down so I could focus on recovering stronger than before. Doing something proactive helped alleviate the depression. Not totally of course....actual measurable progress was what it finally took to move past that mentally. And since this has been on my mind quite a bit, it was only appropriate that my current favorite blogger, The Hungry Runner Girl also did a post on injury recovery the other day. This one focused on the mental aspects of getting yourself to Acceptance stage.

These efforts are in three parts - Get Proactive, Focus on the Short Term and Focus on the Long Term, which will ultimately allow you to get to the final part, the ultimate goal- to "Come Back Stronger". Getting proactive means you get to focus on other stuff, like cross training - and taking a break from running allows you to examine what might have led to the injury in the first place. Focusing on the short term is really just another way of saying 'Take it one day at a time". Looking at the long term will keep the focus on coming back smarter and not getting re-injured. All of that makes you tougher...and better able to handle the beatings our bodies take while we all try to become Kara Goucher.

Good advice. I wasn't sure I'd be able to run the same way again....But now I think that I'll be back. And be stronger than before.

Moving Forward

I am alive! I swear. And happy to report that the 'running' is going well. January and February so far has been marked by inching forward. Small steps that take an extraordinary amount of patience. But I feel as though I am actually getting 'somewhere'....

Last night, for the first time in many months, I went on what I can actually call a run. Yay!! By the end of January, I'd progressed to doing 3/3's (3 mins running/3 mins walking). A couple weeks of that and I was able to move to 4/2's. Since I've done several of those with minimal pain/tightness, I got the ok to do a 5/1. Barely walked at all during that 3.3 miles! It felt SO good. I seriously cannot wait until I can do long runs again. That is still a couple months out, realistically. But I am so close.

By March, the goal is to be doing all running for that 3-ish mile loop. Things have been progressing so well that I definitely feel this is doable. The patience is paying off. And I hope that it renews my motivation to once again immerse myself in all things running. I've taken a 'break' from the obsession the past several months, mostly so I didn't lose my sh*t too much over this injury. Now that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, I am ready to rejoin the ranks.

I am also going to spend the next month or so revamping the blog and experimenting with some different layouts and designs. I am getting bored and since the blog is officially a toddler now, it's time for a makeover and update. So bear with me....don't hesitate to tell me if you think it looks stupid or if you have suggestions. Thanks for sticking with me y'all. It's been quite the roller coaster the past 6 months.

Giving Mizunos a Shot

My new shoes. I've spent the last year and half running in Brooks Ghost 4's. They have been replaced by the Ghost 5's --which don't feel nearly as good. So I took a chance on another brand. Taking them out for a test run in a bit....we'll see how they feel.

January: In Which I Hibernate & Reflect

Last month was very quiet.....it brought a little bit of reflection and a little bit of regrouping. Overall, not a whole lot happened. I have been focusing on getting myself back on track and decided to do a post that covered all of the injury - total recap, timeline and current status. 

That was a good thing for me because it allowed me to get outside myself for a moment and try to really look objectively at my injury, what led to it and what I am doing to come back from it. Looking at where I was last August and where I am today was just the affirmation that I needed. I am doing this right. I am taking my time and the patience is paying off. I will be back. And not only will I be a runner again, I will be a stronger and smarter runner.

I also tried to objectively look back on the year and examine my goals from the beginning of this journey and how I did with them. It was interesting to examine which things I succeeded at and what I missed the mark on. Some of it was out of my control due to injury, however, I also wanted to examine why those goals may have led to the injury in the first place.

Taking a closer look was a good thing. It helped me re-evaluate my larger goals and figure out where I might need to put some focus. It turns out, the focus needs to totally shift. 100%. And shift it has.

No more craziness. No more Too Much Too Soon. 2013 is all about Building the Base. Small, reasonable goals. That are aligned with my current abilities (both injury-related and in general). Keep it simple. Build slowly. Keep racing to a minimum. Focus on strength.

I am ready. Let's do this!