The Results Are In....

And it's not pretty. I actually got the results over the phone late last week and have been mourning processing ever since. I have a "superior lateral and posterior acetabular labral tear", which is a fancy medical way of saying that the labrum (the thing that goes around your hip socket that keeps your thigh or femur in place) is torn. But that's not all! Oh no, there is more fun to be had here. I also have "significant tendinopathy at the hamstring attachment"....which is fairly self explanatory. The tendons attach your hamstring to your pelvis, and when they get angry and inflamed, it's called tendonitis or tendiopathy (essentially the same thing)....

So first emotion here was relief. As I mentioned before, I have some experience with joint injuries, specifically, significant joint injuries that don't show up on scans. So I was relieved that whatever is causing me pain was evident on the MRI. I've heard of people having hamstring tendon issues that don't and know exactly what that frustration feels like and I didn't want to go through that again. Second emotion was a lot of sadness. For several weeks now, I've been mentally preparing myself for the inevitability that I wouldn't be doing the Portland Marathon next month or my Ragnar Ultra Relay in Las Vegas in November. But that doesn't stop me from being really really sad whenever I remember all over again.

Treatment and how long recovery will last largely depend on how much healing I can promote in the tendon with total rest. The labral tear will heal on it's own provided there is no further stress on it, surgery isn't warranted as it's not a big enough tear and there doesn't seem to be any cartilage that is just hanging out there that might prevent healing. Once the pain and symptoms aren't present when at rest any longer, I can start PT, working on strengthening and stabilizing the hip so that it can withstand the load bearing and the shock of running.

As for the hamstring tendinopathy, that is a bit trickier. These particular tendons don't get a lot of blood flow, which is essential in healing. And once it's been a few months, you start to wander into chronic territory, which isn't good at all. Unfortunately, there was nothing visible in the MRI that tells whether there has been any healing so far.....since this injury is 3 months old now, that isn't really that helpful. I had hoped to gain an understanding on whether the damage looked new or older...in other words, have I been making it worse? Or was it just really bad and it taking a long time to heal? I suspect the former....even though I cut way back in July, continuing to train really hampered the initial healing that should have been happening at that point. And the off and on rest since I started PT also didn't help much.

Right now, I am at 3 full weeks of rest and counting. At least 4 more weeks of it and then at that point, if I am asymptomatic when resting, then I can start PT again. Once I start PT, massage, strength training exercises and perhaps some utlrasound might help. As for drug treatment, the best thing for me right now is anti-inflammatory meds....I've been taking some twice a day for a couple weeks now and it seems to help. I did ask about steroid shots, as that came up some in my research, but he thinks that a cortizone/steroid shot might hurt more than it would help....After starting PT, and working through the tight hamstring and tendons (which are part and parcel to the injury), I can try to gradually ease my way back into running, under the guidance of my PT. Really, the one helpful thing he did say was that once I get back into PT, there will be soreness and pain and that finding the right balance of moving through that and pulling back when necessary is going to be key....

I officially told my Ragnar team that we need to find a replacement for me today. And I'm really sad about it....so to make myself feel better, I'm already recruiting them to form a team for Ragnar SoCal for next April. I think that will help with the injury blues - and give me something to look forward to!

Make Yourself Monday

A much needed quality right now....

Well that was fun....

Yeah. Not really. Really glad I decided to head home after the MRI today, instead of going back to work and trying to sit in a chair for the rest of the day. My hip hurts and feels weirder than I thought it would. I am still sort of confused as to what this whole thing is called- Dr.'s orders called it an arthogram - but essentially, they injected some iodine and MRI contrast fluid into my hip joint using an X-ray as a guide. And then did an MRI.

The appointment started off in utter confusion and ended with a bang- literally. I went to the front desk at the hospital (where the radiology department for the group of physicians I see is located) exactly where they told me to check in. She says 'oh no, you just go straight down to the MRI waiting room and check in there'. So I walk all the way down this super long hall, down a floor and that lady tells me that I am having the arthogram somewhere else and she can't check me in here....not sure where I should go, let me call someone, etc etc. Whoever she calls tells her to send me all the way to the other wing of the hospital and up to the 6th floor. Which is totally suspect - when I get all the way over there, it's imaging alright but cardiovascular...clearly not where I am supposed to be. I went in anyway and the lady was very nice in finding out where I was supposed to go; which incidentally, was main patient registration...where I started.

So we started off with a bang. I finally got to the right place and checked in but of course we were 30 minutes behind because I spent my planned 'registration' time traipsing all over the stupid place. I had to change into gowns and they had me lay on a table where there was a big X-ray thing hovering over it. They took a bunch of pictures and then the radiology guy that was injecting me came in. He was super nice and very chatty and made an uncomfortable procedure go by quickly. The needle was larger than a shot needle but not super huge. He had to inject the fluid into the joint just so, so he used the X-ray machine to guide the needle. I didn't watch this. I was numbed up so I didn't feel anything more than a pinchy pressure.

Once that was done, they had me get in a wheelchair and took me off to the MRI area. So I was asked a few times if I was claustrophobic but no one asked if I loud clanking and rumbling noises for an entire 40 minutes would make me crazy. Seriously. I feel like I was prepared for every aspect of that but the god awful racket. For reals. It was crazy and I am really glad I didn't have a headache! My sister has had one and the place she went to was fancier apparently, b/c they gave her headphones with music to listen to during and I just got disposable earplugs. Heh.

So that was it. The hip felt super stiff and weird for the first couple hours and then it started hurting. A lot. I've been icing off and on since I got home and that is helping a bit. I'll probably be pretty sore tomorrow as well. And now I wait. It takes them 24-48 hours to send the images back to my Dr. but he's out on Friday, so the soonest I can see him is first thing Monday morning. Holding out hope that it'll come Thursday some time and I can pop over and see him, since his office is right across the street from my office. Terribly convenient, I know.

Am not entirely sure what to expect. My running buddy Jess has also been battling a hip injury since Ragnar and had her MRI last week. Results today - she has a labral tear...which is the cartilage around her hip socket. On cruches for a couple weeks but her Dr. says he's ok with her walking PDX...the idea of walking 26 miles with no training is also scary but it would be better to do it with someone. So depending on the results of my MRI and what my Dr. thinks is actually going on here...I am hoping to walk it too...at least start and get as far as I can, right? With the goal of both of us being able to run Ragnar....fingers crossed.

Make Yourself Monday

Trying very hard...I feel a bit destructable at the moment....

I'm Alive - I Swear

Just sinking into a spiraling circle of depression and just an overall blah feeling. I really miss running. A lot. It's been weeks now. I had my x-ray on the 7th. It didn't show any obvious signs of a stress fracture so an MRI was next. Took almost a week to get word back from my insurance company on preauthorization, but I finally heard back today and was able to schedule an appointment. He ordered an arthogram contrast MRI so I have to show up for a hip injection of some sort of dye and sit for an hour, while I guess it spreads out through the hip or something. Once the hour is up, they do the actual MRI. Hopefully they'll be able to tell exactly what is wrong right away. It will be very discouraging to have nothing show up. I've had that happen before.

I worked for Starbucks all through my 20's. In 2004, I tore the cartilage in my right wrist. Nothing showed up on x-rays or the MRI and I was misdiagnosed and treated for tendonitis for 16 months. 10 months of physical therapy and lots of different drugs and treatments, all to no avail. I finally wised up and switched doctors about a year in and after a bit, they became convinced I'd torn the cartilage on the outside of my wrist. They did surgery and sure enough, torn right off practically. Long recovery - probably the most painful and difficult time I've ever had physically.

That experience most definitely colors my perception on this whole hip-pain-not-going-away-thing. I have missed running and can't wait to get back to it. But who knows when that will be. My Dr. says no full marathon in Portland next month for sure...and most likely no ultra Ragnar either. I am extremely heartbroken about that. That whole waiting, not sure what is going on thing, has made me very bitchy and sad. I really want to run....

The start of school has kept me busy for sure. My beautiful baby girl has started high school and she's growing up. First Friday night of the school year found me staying up on the couch waiting for her to get home from the Girls Vollyball game she went to watch with her friends. God I remember those days...going to the game on Friday nights...football, basketball...lots of fun memories. The first of many nights like that over the next four years to be sure.

Promise I'll keep checking in, even though I don't have any running news to report. Sad face. To keep you entertained, like it's keeping me, check out this Tumblr....Suri's Burn Book. "A study in Suri and the people who disappoint he". It's a hilarious gal who lives in DC, works in policy by day, and blogs as her alter-ego, Suri Cruise at night. It's mainly snarky commentary on celebrity children's sartorial choices and I can't get enough of it. It's funny as schmidt. Go there. Immediately. You're welcome.

Make Yourself Monday - on Tuesday!

Yep....and patient.

August: In Which I Start PT and Feel Sorry for Myself

I can hear that 'timberrrr....' sound effect 

from cartoons in my head looking at these stats.

I began the month super excited about switching my focus to full marathon training. I revamped my plan and was getting mentally prepared. I was still running on fairly normal schedule, but was still in a lot of pain. I was also in a great deal of denial.....

I sort of limped through the first week of August; even got in an 11 miler. I celebrated my 1 year Runniversary in style - researching my insurance requirements for PT coverage and finding a good one near my work.

I found a great PT and started seeing her twice a week. I've had 7 visits so far and it was clear after the first that my pelvis wasn't aligned. She's been doing correction techniques at every visit and we've been working on strength - exercises to make the hips, glutes and hamstrings stronger so that it keeps the pelvis in place. I've gone on a few 'runs' to test out how it makes me feel - and see if there is pain. They've been walk/runs - 3 mins alternating and the running has most definitely shifted the pelvis back each time. Walking is ok - things stay in place pretty well and there is minimal pain.

It was a good thing the Olympics were on so I could distract myself from all that non-running and making no progress on my training schedule. At this point, I am still operating under the assumption that I will be doing PDX. Which freaks me out b/c it's going to be painful and I'll likely end up walking a good portion of it. 

The last few weeks have been tough. I am beating myself up on account of not being able to train, I feel like crap - some days I'm in a lot of pain; some days I feel much better. I feel like there are three steps forward followed by two steps back. I am discouraged and bummed that this isn't healing as quickly as I'd have liked.

My last appointment with my PT, she said it's time to bring in my Dr. -- she wants to rule out a pelvic stress fracture so I've got an appointment set up this week. We'll see what comes of it. So I've definitely felt sorry for myself this month. I miss running and it's hard seeing people out there and hearing about friends runs and races. Trying to keep myself busy and distracted. Easy to do right now...we are spending the long weekend getting ready for school to start. My little baby girl is going to be a freshman. And then turn 15 next month. I am so not ready for this! But we are heading into my very favorite season of all....Fall is perfect. It's pretty, the return of boots and sweaters is my absolute favorite, and it's my favorite weather to run in. Hope I can start doing that again soon!

Time to See the Dr.

I saw my super awesome PT yesterday and reported that not only did I not get in the run I was supposed to do, I was in more pain. Sitting at work is getting to be really painful and makes each day feel like it's so very very long. But anyway....she said I should have started to feel better by now and that even though clinically, this is really presenting as a stubborn hamstring issue, we'd better rule out a stress fracture of the pelvis just to be on the safe side.

Which is good...because I had planned to ask her when she thought I should bring my Dr. into this. This stupid hip just feels too pinchy and sore. So I was able to get an apt with one of the other Docs in the clinic since mine is on vacation next week and we'll start with an X-ray. According to Dr. Internet, you can't always see a stress fracture on a x-ray....most of the time it takes an MRI. But since it happened several weeks ago, there is a chance that if there was a stress fracture, there would be some calcification visible.

No running until after the appointment. I'll see my PT the day after so we'll talk then and figure out what our next steps are. More waiting....hummpfff. Good thing there is a ton of political theater going on right now to keep me distracted! RNC over, DNC up next -- which I suspect will not be as entertaining. Unless Mr. Eastwood shows up in NC! Heh.

How do people do this?

I am officially about 4 weeks into my PT for this hamstring/pelvis issue. August has been a total wash....as in I've run a total of about 20 miles. I really thought that once I started PT and got the pelvis shifted back that I would be able to start running again and just build back up from there. Well, I was allowed to start running again last week but have only gotten 3 in so far. I am still doing a combo of 3 mins walking and 3 mins running. And doing 2 runs in 3 days really shifted the pelvis. It had been holding steady in place, for the most part, for several days, requiring only minor adjustments at my appointments. But after those 2 runs, it shifted a lot more and required much more correction. I could actually feel the difference before and afterward.

It's really hard not to be discouraged by this. Every time I look at the calendar and see the number of weeks getting smaller between now and October 7th, I get all panicky. How do people do this? Really, a half marathon would be painful now; I have no idea how I am going to complete a full. It's hard to know if I should even try. My PT hasn't put her foot down and when I used SmartCoach to majorly scale down my training plan, I half expected an error message to come up saying "Don't do it- there is no way you'll be ready for this and/or be able to prepare in this short amount of time"....It totally didn't. And that plan is decidedly less ambitious than the modified one I created.

My biggest concession so far, beside not actually running, is to switch my legs for my Ragnar Ultra. I will no longer be doing one of the toughest set of legs -- I'll be doing one of the easier ones. Relatively speaking, of course, since it's still two 7 milers and a 12 miler (as opposed to two 12's and a 10).....I did reach out to the Portland Marathon organizers just to make sure they wouldn't allow me to switch to the half. I got a nicely worded 'No way, Jose' email back....something about how over the 40 year history of the event, they've never offered this. And there were at least two pages on the website detailing how against the rules it is to just decide to run the half instead, resulting in disqualifications, being banned from future events, etc, etc. They basically said I should just run as much of the full as I can. Which is what I am going to end up having to do.

I guess adjusting those expectations now is better. Hopefully, a DNF won't scar the ego too much and I'll be able to pull it together and move on. There's always next year. I keep telling myself that there is a learning curve for this....and better to learn the "don't be stubborn, see someone when you are injured" and "moderation" lessons now. Overtraining = bad. Listening to your body and being smart = good.

So how do people do this? I guess that is a rhetorical question...but my best attempt at an answer is "One Day at a Time"....just like anything else, right? So that is what I'll do.....take it one day and one run at a time.

If anyone of my 3 (ha!) readers has any advice - please share.....How do you get through your injuries and stay sane?

Make Yourself Monday

Unstoppable....that's me.

Running to Remember

Source

Three years ago today - August 25, 2009, CPT John Hallett was killed in Afghanistan by a roadside bomb, along with CPT Cory Jenkins, SFC Ronald Sawyer, and PFC Dennis Williams. CPT Hallett's wife Lisa had just given birth to their third child, a daughter, three weeks before. In the aftermath of that devastation, she began running as a way to cope with her grief. Within months, she started wear blue: run to remember as a way to connect with others going through the same thing and to honor her husbands memory. Over the last few years, it's grown and the sea of blue is spreading. It's a way to remember those that were lost, honor those still fighting and support the families of all of them. It's also a way for people like me to recognize and connect with the military as a community member, to support their sacrifice and really see what these families go through and give up in service to our country.

Honor Guard bringing CPT Hallett's body to his funeral. Source.

Yesterday, August 24th, would have been the 15th wedding anniversary of another military widow, Kryste, that I met through friends and WB. She lost her husband CW3 Frank Buoniconti last December and I've gotten to know her a bit since then and her courage in moving through her grief has been inspiring and brutally honest. She is raw and completely open with her day to day thoughts on Facebook and her blog. She wrote a beautiful post that I know she wouldn't mind me sharing....Kryste's extraordinary strength is inspiring. 

CW3 Frank Buoniconti, was killed in a training exercise on December 12, 2011.  CPT John Hallett was killed by an IED in Afghanistan on August 25, 2009. Both are survived by their wives and children.

I will be running my (unfortunately short) run today in honor of both of these men and their sacrifice. The legacies of these men can also be honored monetarily for those interested. Kryste has started a foundation in Frank's name LiveYourLoveLoud. This foundation, in her own words:

"I am starting a nonprofit in Frank's honor and to continue the work and passion that made us who we were as a team. LiveYourLoveLoud will be for orphan care AND prevention,funding water projects,HIV/AIDS prevention & treatment in Africa, helping widows/single mothers,adoption grants for military families and other projects to help serve the people of the world who deserve clean water, food, health care, education and a chance to grow up and be world changers in their own villages & countries."

You can support Kryste and her efforts here.

You can honor the legacy of CPT John Hallett by donating to wear blue: run to remember. You can read more about this amazing organization (that I proud to be a part of) here.

To John and Frank - today I will run in honor of you and the wonderful families you have left behind, who carry on and remember you in every way they can. You will not be forgotten.

First Run in 14 days

I was allowed to run again a couple days ago. And of course, one 30 minute run/walk was enough to shift that pelvis back again. I've been to PT 5 times now and each time, the amount of shifting from one visit to the next has diminished almost completely. The correction techniques she is using and the strengthening exercises I've been doing every day have made things more stable and able to withstand normal movements, but the run jarred everything back again...

I had been going on some test walks to see how the leg felt.....and there was no more of the sharp pain that I've grown accustomed to. So I asked if I could ease back into running and my PT agreed I was ready. But it has to be slow and easy and I have to stop immediately if I start feeling that sharp pain again. My last appointment this week was yesterday and I won't see her again till Tuesday. Between those two, I will be able to run 3 times, increasing the running and decreasing the walking if I feel good. Right now I'm alternating between 3 minutes walking and 3 minutes running....I'll run again tonight and see how I feel.

My PT is great....I really like her. She's a runner too, so she gets it. And from here on out, it's likely that I'll need to be constantly adjusting and strengthening and evaluating as I get back into shape. But the easing back into things is taking longer than I was hoping it would....the whole month of August has been pretty much a wash. I will be readjusting my training schedule for PDX and submitting it to my PT for evaluation next week. I certainly don't want to jump back into things too quickly and re-injure myself. So we will see what she says.....trying not to think too much about how painful it's going to be to get back into the shape I was in. I already feel like my clothes are way tighter. Boo hiss.

Make Yourself Monday

Better....Almost back in action!

Make Yourself Monday

In honor of Allyson Felix's 3 (!!) gold medals in London....Proud indeed.

Olympics Hilarity...

So, you may have seen it but....I find this absolutely hilarious - Like snort-laughing every time I check it for new additions. A few of my favorites:

Source

 Source

Source

There is also a bit of Ryan Lochte love which is so funny b/c he is such a total d-bag. But I happened upon this last week....

Source

I have to say, social media has greatly enhanced my enjoyment of the Olympics this year. Funny stuff on top of the all the spectacle of watching amazing athletes accomplish extraordinary things. Loved watching Kerri and Misty take their third straight gold, and the USA women's soccer team get their vindication against Japan. Loved watching Kara and Shalane run their hearts out last weekend and plan to get up early to cheer on Meb, Abdi and Ryan tomorrow in the men's marathon. Go USA!!

Shifted pelvis. Or something.

Started the day with my new physical therapist. First visit so there was a lot of talking and diagnosing and such. It turns out that my pelvis on the left side has sort of shifted back and is out of alignment. That in turn is straining the muscles, with a lot of extra pulling there shouldn't be. She said it's hard to say whether the shift happened first and cause the pulled muscle or if the muscles were strained and the subsequent stress (not to mention the continued training) caused the shift. I'm definitely leaning towards the latter.

 Ha-this is exactly the model she showed me-

 left side shifted back....Source.

So the pink stuff in there is muscle. The greater pelvic floor muscles are mostly what you see but at the very bottom, right above the bottom of the pelvis on either side, there is a muscle called the obturator internis. And that is one of the very painful tender spots, along with the greater upper hamstrings that are very aggravated muscles. 

The plan includes rest at first, then I can start up again as I continue to work with her. So hopefully I won't lose too much fitness. I am allowed to walk...but I hate walking! It just doesn't feel efficient to me. But back to the appointment...we did a little bit of treatment...she had me do a couple exercises that I have to do a few times a day, one to strengthen and one to promote blood flow to aid in healing...and then she got out the coolest thing ever. It's this sleeve thing that combines an ice treatment with compression. You put this sleeve around the afflicted part and hook it to this machine. It fills up with ice water (totally lasted 10 minutes on the coldest setting-thank you ice baths!) and air and there's mild pressure like a blood pressure cuff, but not that hard. It.Was.Awesome. I loved it. She said she can do it every time! Yay! It felt that good.

She also did this weird thing to try to shift my pelvic bone back. She also warned me that it really engaged that obturator muscle and that I'd likely feel some pain later on. Totally did. And still do.....very sore. I was also supposed to make sure that I sat and stood completed symmetrical all day- weight evenly on both feet or 'sit bones'. Very hard to do...

We are going to be working on major strengthening of the hip muscles, which are very weak, and my core so that the pelvis is supported and doesn't shift back. Going to be doing this 1-2 times a week for 6-8 weeks. I'll be able to start back up on my training soon....so we'll just take it as we go and see what I can accomplish. Still got 59 days till PDX. Gulp.

Injury Update

Still hurting...stupid pulled muscles. Finally figured out my insurance stuff, found a great PT near my office and made an appointment for Friday morning, the soonest they had. I am glad I'm going. This stupid pain won't go away and I have a feeling I'm just making it worse by being stubborn.

Plus, I really need to start treatment NOW. Honestly, I've waited way longer than I should have and at this point, I am putting myself at risk of not being able to do my full marathon in October. If rest is required for my treatment (holding my breath that it won't be too long), better now than later, that is for sure.

I am feeling a bit better about all this though. Like I said, I was in denial. But my running buddy Mike is just coming off Quadracep Tendonitis, during which he was on full rest for a bit AND crutches for a week....he thought he wouldn't be able to do PDX because of it, but is healing quicker than he thought so if all goes according to plan, he's still doing it. We decided that we are just going to work through the injuries as best we can, do our best to train through it and just hope that we don't die trying to finish the damn thing.

I had such plans for this first marathon....one of the reasons I waited nearly a full year between my first half and my first full was that I wanted to conquer it. I wanted to successfully tackle several runs in the 20 mile range, including a full 26 before the race. That is probably unlikely now. I have to stop being so stubborn and accept it. So we'll get as high as we can beforehand, stick together during the race and finish the damn thing if we have to walk/crawl.

Jess and D had a mantra at RnR--Beat Oprah. Didn't happen for them....and won't for us likely. But we'll finish. And as Mike pointed out, it only makes for an awesome PR for our second one.

Will update Friday after I see the PT. Crossing my fingers for good/not terrible news.

Make Yourself Monday

Totally hear Christina singing in my head....

Is it too late for me.....

.....to be Kara Goucher when I grow up? I love that girl. And she and Shalane ran their hearts out today. So disappointing for them. They worked so hard and ran so well.....but a 10/11th place finish isn't bad at all. And then there was this...

Source

These girls train together and have become really good friends. And when Kara helped Shalane up at the end....I got a little choked up. Sisters. Teammates. And all around champions. Great runs ladies. See you in 4.

One Year Runniversary

My year in races....

A couple weeks late....but just about a year ago, I decided to run my first half marathon. I'd started and stopped running regularly many times over the years and always wanted to do a half marathon. 13.1 seemed like so many miles...and I thought that I would never be able to do that. So I finally decided to give it a shot. And not be scared of failing. Or of working really hard for something. And then failing. That self doubt always stopped me from getting very far....

Now I was ready to just go for it. I started going on short runs...about 2 miles or so around the neighborhood. Looking back over my training for the last year is kind of cool. I ran between 2-3 miles 4 days a week for a full month and a half...then I started pushing that up. Slowly but surely, I was ticking off all these firsts. First time I ran 5 miles, then 7 miles, then my first run in the double digits. Then I tackled a full 13 a couple weeks before that first race. It felt so incredibly good to accomplish that and to cross the finish line of my first half marathon. I wanted to keep feeling that. To keep pushing farther.

So I kept training, kept working on my pace and endurance, and getting a few more races under my belt. One year later and I've run a lot of miles-nearly 1000. I've run 4 5K's, 2 10K's, 5 Half Marathons and one 200 mile running relay with a team of 12. That's more than I planned to accomplish. So I'm proud of that. And it's only going to get more intense...first full marathon in October and then another 200 mile relay-with 6 people this time. Kind of makes me want to throw up. Just a little bit.

But I think I'm ready. After all, a year ago, 13.1 miles sounded insurmountable. But I conquered it. And I will conquer this too.